Wish the extra love you get on Valentine’s Day could last year-round? It can! Relationship expert Andrea Syrtash shares her tips for spicing up your relationship.

#1: Plan to be spontaneous.
That sounds counterintuitive, right? Hear me out. When you’re dating, you want to just drop everything to be with your new squeeze, and everything feels inspiring because you’re so in love. Of course, when real life kicks in, that changes ... but it doesn’t mean all moments of spontaneity have to go out the window! If you’re planning a date night, instead of going to the same neighborhood restaurant you always go to, why not try a new neighborhood? Or try a different restaurant every time — think of it like being a tourist in your own town. If you’re staying at home, why not cook one of Rachael’s meals together — you’ll both learn something new and you will see that you’ll feel more bonded. Novelty actually tricks your brain into thinking that even your love is new!

#2: Talk.
One study shows that the average couple with kids speaks to one another uninterrupted for 15 minutes or less daily. And when they’re talking, it’s about some pretty unsexy topics like chores, bills and in-laws! So it’s really important to dedicate even just 10 minutes a day for conversations that connect you as lovers and partners, not just as parents or roommates.

#3: Love your life.
The best thing you can do for your love life is to love your life. If you want a passionate marriage, it really starts with your own passions. If you don’t know what you’re passionate about, you’ve got some work to do. Start by thinking about how you’d spend your days if time and money weren’t an issue. What would you do that would bring you joy? Would you cook? Paint? Volunteer? Now, I’m not suggesting you do that all day, but I am saying that you need to incorporate those passions into your life on a more regular basis (to the extent that you can). You’ll be surprised by how your own happiness will impact your relationship.

Happy Valentine’s Day!