We're a few months into the new year, so it's a good time to ask: How are your resolutions coming along? Relationship expert Andrea Syrtash suggests you make sure your resolutions are "SMART" - it's a simple exercise that can help you stay on track throughout the year.




SMART stands for goals or resolutions that are:

1) Specific
2) Measurable
3) with Action & Accountability
4) Realistic
5) with a Timeline

For example, did you resolve to improve your friendships? It's not too late to modify your goal to something more realistic, specific and attainable. How about committing to spending more time with close friends who you really miss? Then set up 5 steps you're going to take to get back in touch with them and make this a priority. What will be your first step? It may start with calling or emailing specific people to say that they're on your mind and you'd love to catch up. (It's amazing how much we avoid getting back in touch with people we love because we think too much time has passed!) Then, you may want to suggest a regular lunch date or enroll one to join you on your new workout program. The bottom line is that if you want to improve your friendships, put action behind your words.

No matter what your goals are, whether it's losing weight, finding friends or anything at all, make sure to make your resolution S.M.A.R.T so you're setting yourself up for success!

Wish the extra love you get on Valentine’s Day could last year-round? It can! Relationship expert Andrea Syrtash shares her tips for spicing up your relationship.

#1: Plan to be spontaneous.
That sounds counterintuitive, right? Hear me out. When you’re dating, you want to just drop everything to be with your new squeeze, and everything feels inspiring because you’re so in love. Of course, when real life kicks in, that changes ... but it doesn’t mean all moments of spontaneity have to go out the window! If you’re planning a date night, instead of going to the same neighborhood restaurant you always go to, why not try a new neighborhood? Or try a different restaurant every time — think of it like being a tourist in your own town. If you’re staying at home, why not cook one of Rachael’s meals together — you’ll both learn something new and you will see that you’ll feel more bonded. Novelty actually tricks your brain into thinking that even your love is new!

#2: Talk.
One study shows that the average couple with kids speaks to one another uninterrupted for 15 minutes or less daily. And when they’re talking, it’s about some pretty unsexy topics like chores, bills and in-laws! So it’s really important to dedicate even just 10 minutes a day for conversations that connect you as lovers and partners, not just as parents or roommates.

#3: Love your life.
The best thing you can do for your love life is to love your life. If you want a passionate marriage, it really starts with your own passions. If you don’t know what you’re passionate about, you’ve got some work to do. Start by thinking about how you’d spend your days if time and money weren’t an issue. What would you do that would bring you joy? Would you cook? Paint? Volunteer? Now, I’m not suggesting you do that all day, but I am saying that you need to incorporate those passions into your life on a more regular basis (to the extent that you can). You’ll be surprised by how your own happiness will impact your relationship.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Have you made your "to-do" list for some of the resolutions you hope to tackle in 2013? Relationship expert Andrea Syrtash suggests that making a "to-be" list is just as important! For example, who do you want to be and who do you want to be around? Make your relationships even better in the year ahead by following her top three relationship resolutions:

#1: Surround yourself with people who bring out your best.
Time is limited, so why would you spend time with people who don't make you feel good? If you have friends and you’re constantly arguing, or you’re trying to convince someone you're dating of your worth, that’s not your match. So don’t just think about who the people you’re spending time with are, look at how and who you are when you're with them.

#2: Sweat the small stuff.
If you want to make big changes in your relationship, it really starts with small steps and gestures. People notice what you do or don't do, and those little things can end up defining our relationships. So don’t think in terms of “all or nothing” or you’ll end up with nothing! In fact, one study shows that for every negative interaction you have in a relationship, you need five positive interactions to negate it. So, keep depositing those positive interactions into your "account." It may mean calling a friend to say you’re thinking of her, or warming your partner’s car on a cold day. These little things go a long way.

#3: Disconnect to connect.
For my last book I interviewed an 85-year-old woman who said that the most important thing you can offer in a relationship is your presence – I love that! When we’re looking down at our phones during dinner, we’re not offering our presence. We’re actually saying, “The email I’m sending now is more important than you across the table.” Is that the message you want to send? I’ve interviewed couples who complain that there is no time for romance, but they admit to checking Facebook for an hour before bed! We need to know when to power off because disconnecting can be the key to connecting.

Here’s to great relationships in 2013!