While the onions are cooking, prepare the coffin bread: Cut the entire top off of the loaf of the bread and save for later use. With a paring knife cut the insides out of the loaf of bread leaving a 1/4-inch border on each side. Cut the bread insides into cubes, place them on a sheet tray and toast in the oven until golden.
In a large bowl, mix caramelized onions with sour cream. Season to taste. Pour all of the dip into hollowed out coffin bread.
For roasted potatoes: Toss potatoes with a drizzle of EVOO, some salt and pepper. Lay onto a sheet tray and roast for 15-20 minutes or until soft.
For pumpernickel tombstones: Cut the pumpernickel bread into tombstones with a tombstone cookie cutter. Place cut-outs onto a sheet tray and drizzle with EVOO, salt and pepper. Bake until toasted.
For crispy kale: Raise oven temperature to 400ºF degrees. Dress the kale lightly with a drizzle of EVOO and season with salt, pepper and a hint of nutmeg. Place kale on a cooling rack place on top of a sheet tray and transfer to the oven. Bake until both are crispy, 10-12 minutes.
For pumpernickel dirt: Place half a loaf of pumpernickel bread into a food processor. Pulse until the bread starts to form coarse crumbs.
To serve, place toasted bread cubes onto a festive tray. Scatter the pumpernickel dirt all over the tray and around the bread, making a few mounds. Place the roasted potatoes around the coffin to resemble rocks. Stack the kale high against the side of the bread to look like foliage and make piles of tombstone bread toasts around the tray.