"I feel like I constantly have to justify him," says Paula, a viewer whose husband has temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way. "If he was more mellow and he wouldn't fly off the handle like that and throw these tantrums, everything would be so much nicer at home."

Rachael introduces Paula and Ferlan to Side By Side author Dr. Charles Sophy, who says adult temper tantrums are happening more frequently everywhere. "People are worried about their jobs, they’re worried about their money, they're worried about their families - they’re losing it!" Dr. Sophy explains. "Tons of stress, they’re the triggers and the drivers of people who would typically maybe handle it differently, but they’re on the edge and get thrown off."

While these habits can be difficult to break, Dr. Sophy offers to show Ferlan three steps to stop these outbursts before they happen:

Step one: "These are very complicated behavior patterns to break so you’ve got to make it simple. Number one, you’ve got to take a look at really what is the trigger of this kind of stuff, from your early childhood. I went through some of the history - I don’t think your mom was really necessarily there. You’re grandmother and your aunt kind of raised you, so, are there abandonment issues is what we have to look at. Each time you don’t get your way you feel abandoned, or there’s a way that you don’t feel control, and then you need to take control of the situation by acting out? I think there’s also tools that you need to learn to be able to express your anger in a more adult, more productive way instead of a behavioral pattern."

Step two: "You need to be able to connect your head with your heart - how do you think and how do you feel about everything," Dr. Sophy says. "You need to connect yourself, also from a physical standpoint in that whole connection, you get jittery you say? So there’s a red flag. The minute he says he’s jittery," Dr. Sophy says to Paula and Ferlan, "or the minute you feel you're jittery, have a connection or an eye contact with each other so you can say, 'Jittery,' unhook, let's move back, take a break, walk outside, take a breath, be able to get your hands around it before it blows."

Step three: "You really need to see that you both have a role in this so after that storm, sit down and talk about the tantrum. What happened? What was good about that tantrum? What was working? What did we learn from the last one we used this time and it worked, we still had an explosion, but it still worked. You also want to see what your role in it is: Do you provoke him? Do you say “no” when you know he’s going to go off instead of saying, “Maybe we can talk about it later?”

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