Candid Advice from Oprah's Relationship Guru, Iyanla

Aired on: October 3, 2012

Relationship guru Iyanla Vanzant is the star of Iyanla: Fix Your Life on Oprah's OWN network, but as most of her followers remember, her own relationship with Oprah was rocky for a while. "Every relationship has its breakdowns," Iyanla tells Rachael about her 12-year riff with Oprah, "and I think had we not been busy moving and traveling and working, maybe we would have come together earlier — maybe not. The thing is we came together at the right time. You just have to know what to do to mend the breakdown, and that's what Iyanla: Fix My Life is all about — the people really do the work."

Iyanla says that when it comes to making a change in any relationship, you have to look at the triple A's. "Awareness of the change that needs to be made or that a change needs to be made," she explains. "Sometimes we don't even know what we need to do. Second, acceptance of the fact that you didn't make the change before now. Instead of beating yourself up or saying because you haven't done it you won't do it now — it's acceptance about where you are and that you're ready to make the change. And third, acknowledgement of all of the good, the resources, the skills, the gifts and the talents that will support you in making that change."

Watch the video above to hear Iyanla dish out advice to an audience member who would like to bow out of maid-of-honor duties.