Did turning 50 turn out the lights on your sex life? Dr. Christiane Northrup, author of The Secret Pleasures of Menopause, explains that there's nothing about menopause that changes sex necessarily, but that other factors could contribute to a drop in your sex drive. "If you've had a hysterectomy or you've had your ovaries removed your hormone levels drop, or if you've been eating too much sugar, drinking too much alcohol, or not exercising, your hormones will change and it catches up with you by the age of 50 ... so your libido goes down."

In addition to the physical causes of a lower sex drive, Dr. Northrup adds that mental attitudes can greatly affect what happens in the bedroom. "Sex changes according to how much resentment and hurt you have that you haven't processed," she says, adding, "Your sex drive is always there if you take the time to wake it up. The research shows that it's women in their 60s and 70s who are having the best sex of their lives!"

Steps You Can Take

• Change your way of thinking. Dr. Northrup explains that your self-talk changes your hormonal levels. "What's really happening is adolescence in reverse," she says. "You're going back and the reason the sex drive goes away for a while is that you're reinventing yourself. You need your life energy, your life force for yourself so that you come out of the birth canal having given birth to a newer and better version of yourself.

"Think of yourself as a sexy fabulous woman," Dr. Northrup continues, adding that she would to love get rid of the term "cougar," which she finds demoralizing. Instead, the doctor prefers that she be called a "white tigress."

• Learn about your female erotic anatomy. Dr. Northrup points out that women have as much erectile erotic tissue as men, but it's all inside and that by thinking about that area you can start the blood flowing there. "Energy follows thought," she says, "and you can turn yourself on just by thinking about that area."

• Sensual aids:

• Pheromone perfume. "Women past menopause don't have those pheromones that make construction workers whistle at you during ovulation," Dr. Northrup says. "But you can buy them and put them in your perfume."

• Jade eggs. Dr. Northrup explains, "This is an ancient Chinese way that women stayed young for ever," adding that you place the jade eggs inside your vagina and exercise the entire pelvic floor. "Holding it in place strengthens the pelvic floor, just like Kegel exercises."

• Lubricants. "I like the fact they have plain, as well as ones that are hot or they cool down," Dr. Northrup says. "Anything that stimulates that area [is good]. Remember, energy follows though and you're trying to turn on that area."

• Prescription estrogen cream. "Some women really do have lower estrogen levels in the vaginal area and the tissue is thin and it's painful." Dr. Northrup explains that women use it once a day for a couple weeks and then twice a week, and even in those women at risk for breast cancer just a little dab of it can do wonders. "There's not enough systemic absorption to be dangerous. This is really helpful for a lot of women."