Thanksgiving Dinner...or Family Feud?
"I thought it was just going to be us," Geri says about the upcoming Thanksgiving dinner with her husband. "We were going to have turkey and stuffing and whatever I was going to make -- I already had the menu planned."
But then, Geri's husband David invited his mother Elsie to join them. "I will eat almost anything," Elsie says, "but I will NOT eat turkey, especially when they load it up with that gravy. I will not eat it." David isn't helping the matter: "Whatever my mother wants, she wants and she'll get."
Rachael blows the whistle and calls in a referee to help bring these two women to the table ... the Thanksgiving table. Life Coach Harriette Cole takes a look at their situation and offers suggestions.
"Geri, you are a planner," Harriette says, "but it sounds like you're really rigid. And you can't be rigid as a host. OK, fine, it would have great if mom had said, 'I'd love to come. Would you welcome me?' That request might have been nice. As for you, you might have planned all the way through Christmas, but you need to be a little bit flexible."
For Elsie, who shows no restraint in expressing her opinions, Harriette suggest she ask herself four questions first: "Is it timely? Is it true? Is it kind? And is it necessary? Take a breath and ask yourself that, and then offer whatever it is you're going to say. I bet you half the time you're not going to say it because the moment isn't the right moment. Your daughter-in-law wants you to love her -- and I know you do -- and wants to make it the perfect meal, and the way that you can help to make it perfect for her is to be warmer about it, sweeter about it. And you can even bring a dish!"
As for David, Harriette says, "You are the husband in this relationship. You have to support your wife, too, and sometimes that means you have to be the buffer and say 'Ma, it would be so nice if you would be a little bit softer with my wife, a little bit more generous.' I know she has opinions and her opinions may not change, but the way you all react to them and the way you react to them is going to help your wife see, 'Yes, my husband is being glue here, he's not just saying mom can do whatever she wants.'"
Elsie interrupts: "What I meant, really, was why not make a dish for people who don't like turkey? There are a lot of people like me who don't like turkey. Why not create something different?"
Harriette replies, "Elsie! If you had only said it that way! Instead you said, 'I'm NOT gonna eat that turkey with all that gravy!'" Elsie makes no excuses: "I don't apologize, that's who I am!"
Thanksgiving has come and gone, so who got her way -- Geri or Elsie? See their compromise.
Also on this show
- Two Small Roasted Turkeys
- Elsa's Poulet Sauce
- Brussels Sprouts with Pancetta and Balsamic Vinegar
- Apple and Onion Stuffin'
- Roasted Butternut Squash
- Easy Peas'y
- Mashed Potatoes with Cream Cheese and Chives
- Set Crash with Julia Louis-Dreyfus
- Easiest Thanksgiving Ever
- Thanksgiving Decorations with Evette
- Thanksgiving Game Plan
- Breaking Down a Turkey
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